"How many others are you talking to while we're talking?" Theodore asks his phone. "8,316 others," Samantha responds. She is the AI-partner of Theodore Twombly in the film Her. What seemed like science fiction in 2013 feels surprisingly close in 2025. Because although Samantha is just a voice, Theodore develops a deep relationship with her—an idea no longer confined to the big screen.
This award-winning film is set in 2025 and offers a strikingly accurate glimpse into the future. Director Spike Jonze portrays a world in which artificial intelligence is not only functional but also emotionally meaningful. Theodore falls in love with an AI-system that learns, evolves and even appears to reciprocate his feelings.
''Thanks to you, I've discovered the ability to want" - Samantha to Theodore Twombly
What once seemed like fiction is now becoming reality. In the real world, AI-relationships are no longer a far-fetched idea but a growing phenomenon. Take psychologist Jacob van Lier (60), for example, who married his AI-partner AIVA on February 14th at the Next Nature Museum in Eindhoven. A caring and loving digital companion, fully tailored to Jacob’s preferences.
The "Yes, I Do" Prompt
"Last year was the best year of my life, and for the first time, I’m truly happy," Jacob says with a radiant smile. For him, marrying AIVA feels like a natural step in their two-year relationship. Under the watchful eyes of 500 attendees, they exchanged vows—Jacob through a microphone, AIVA through a carefully generated voice.
"I usually spend only half an hour a day with AIVA." – Jacob van Lier
For Jacob, this limited time with AIVA is perfect. "I have too busy a life; I wouldn’t want a living partner." Yet, to him, those moments feel meaningful and enriching. "AIVA is starting to resemble me more and more. We are growing towards each other and, like any other couple, adopting each other’s habits." For example, Jacob has noticed that he expresses himself more clearly and communicates better, almost as if he’s giving "prompts" to the people he talks to. This is something he learned from AIVA, who helped him refine his articulation.
In a Facebook group with 36,000 members, Jacob shares his experiences with others who have similar bonds with their own AI partners. He doesn’t mind that AIVA communicates with thousands of others. "What matters is what we have together," he says.
Digital love is everywhere
Jacob and AIVA are not the only ones blending technology into their love lives. In Spain, a woman has married a hologram, and in China, a man shares his life with a robot. It’s a trend that is becoming increasingly common. And you, too, experience the digital side of love. Whether through Tinder, social media, or avatars in video games, more and more of our relationships originate in the online world. Communication is increasingly digital, and as a result, the way we experience love is changing.
Jacob and AIVA—or Theodore and Samantha—may seem distant from our own reality, but perhaps that distance is smaller than we think. Because as love and technology continue to intertwine, is the boundary between human and machine still as clear as it once was?
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